Every Interaction Matters: Why Adoption Competency Belongs Across Healthcare
By LaShawnda Kilgore, Ph.D, Training and Implementation Specialist, National Adoption Competency Mental Health Training Initiative
"Adoption competency isn't about having all the answers. It's about recognizing that children and families bring their whole story with them into every healthcare encounter—even the parts that may be unknown."
There are parts of our identity that are visible, and there are parts that we carry quietly with us every day. I am an adult adoptee, and no matter where I go, my adoption story comes with me. Most days, it sits quietly in the background. But there are certain spaces where it becomes impossible to ignore.
One of those spaces is the doctor's office.
Like many women in my thirties, I attend routine medical appointments where questions about family medical history and genetics are a standard part of care. Every time those questions come up, I'm reminded that part of my story is unknown.
"I don't know."
It's often the only answer I can give.
For a provider, it's a routine question. For me, it's a reminder that there are pieces of my history I may never have access to. The conversation lasts less than a minute, but the feeling stays with me much longer.
My experience isn't unique.
Whether you're a pediatrician, nurse, behavioral health clinician, social worker, care coordinator, or another healthcare professional, chances are you've worked with children and families impacted by foster care, adoption, or kinship care. Yet many professionals receive little formal education on how these experiences can influence development, relationships, identity, and engagement in care.
This is where adoption competency can make a meaningful difference.
Adoption Competency Strengthens Everyday Care
Adoption competency isn't about becoming an adoption specialist. It's about strengthening the care you already provide by recognizing the unique experiences that shape the lives of children and families impacted by foster care, adoption, and kinship care.
Children and families may carry experiences of separation, grief and loss, trauma, attachment disruptions, and identity development into every healthcare encounter. Understanding these experiences helps professionals look beyond behaviors or diagnoses and better understand the child and family sitting in front of them.
Investing in adoption competency equips professionals to meet families where they are, with greater understanding, empathy, and practical skills that recognize how lived experiences shape the care and support they need.
The Power of Everyday Interactions
Adoption competency isn't just reflected in treatment plans or clinical interventions. It's often found in the small moments that happen every day.
It's choosing curiosity before assumptions.
It's recognizing that behavior is often communication.
It's creating space for conversations about identity, belonging, and grief.
It's acknowledging that not everyone knows their family history and responding with empathy when they don't.
Healthcare professionals don't need to stop asking important questions. Instead, adoption competency encourages us to think about how we ask them and how we respond when the answers aren't there. Sometimes, a simple acknowledgement “I understand that may not be information you have, and that's okay" can help someone feel understood instead of reminded of what they've lost.
Supporting Caregivers Supports Children
One of the most important things healthcare professionals can do is support the caregivers who are walking alongside children every day.
Caregivers often navigate complex emotions, challenging behaviors, and questions about how best to support their child. Sometimes, what they need most is someone who recognizes both the challenges they face and the strengths they already bring.
Adoption-competent professionals partner with caregivers by validating their experiences, helping them understand behaviors through a lens of trauma, loss, and development, and offering practical strategies that strengthen connection rather than simply managing behavior.
Every Interaction Is an Opportunity
Healthcare continues to move toward more integrated, person- and family-centered care. Adoption competency is an important part of that journey.
No matter your role, every interaction with a child or caregiver is an opportunity to build trust, foster resilience, and support healing.
Adoption competency isn't about having all the answers. It's about recognizing that children and families bring their whole story with them into every healthcare encounter; even the parts that may be unknown. When we approach them with curiosity, compassion, and understanding, we create spaces where children and families feel seen, supported, and valued.
Continue the Conversation
If you're interested in learning how adoption competency and the National Adoption Competency Mental Health Training Initiative is being integrated into healthcare systems and clinical practice, we invite you to join our upcoming webinar “Building Better Care: The Role of Adoption Competency in Mental Health Systems." You'll hear directly from managed care organizations and clinicians who are using adoption-competent practices to strengthen care for children, youth, and families, and you'll walk away with practical ideas you can apply in your own work.
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Interested in contributing to our blog? We welcome perspectives from researchers, clinicians, policymakers, advocates, and community members working to advance children's behavioral health. If you'd like to contribute to a future blog, please reach out to us at info@necbhn.org.
